She has the nerve to say i’m the one who can’t be friends, Sorry i wish i would of know that before we had sex and before you said yes to a date, I guess i’m the rare kind of person that only sleeps with people i care about. At main event with her i had so much fun, we were flirting and everything was just too good to be true. We layed in the hammock together and it was stupid because clearly we weren’t doing it right and it didnt matter because i just was happy with laying there with her. And cuddeling in that uncomfortble ass bed was something i wont forget, idk why, nothing happened, but something about her sky blue dress and the way her hair looked just gets me weak inside. But she’s making bad decisions in her life, and maybe thats why she doesnt want me, because im the right choice. That feels arrogant and pompous just thinking aout it. I must be some sort of fucking loser, she treats me bad and i just want her more, all her imperfections are just things that make her different from every other girl out there. Why dont girls want to be loved by me, whats wrong with me, i am short. Im a 22 year old who;s 5’3” and i look 17. I cant bame her i guess, im a fucking loser and i done belong in the same room with her. Yeah so i guess i cant be friends with her. she’s right, shit.
I don’t know anymore. She’s so awesome but i dont even think it’s worth the effort anymore. I tried being the best i could be for her but that wasn’t enough. I don’t even want to be friends anymore, i don’t even fell like we ever were friends, we know nothing about each other. I tried making attempts to hang out with her but something always happened and we never just hung out one on one, it;s like you never wanted to. I wish you would of just told me from the start i was a rebound, because it would of saved me a lot of time and energy. I feel like you took my friendship and my kindness for granted, you lied to me on many different occasions and, bottom line, i’m not friends with people who betray my trust. I wish things were different because i can see someone inside of you, but clearly that’s not who you are. When you get older hopefully you’ll learn from this and you won’t do this to anyone else. But i only have 3 shifts left so after that you won’t have to see me again.
Everytime i get sucked in.
I must be as dumb as a fly.
I keep falling, taking em to the chin
I just sit here pondering, wondering why
Just fucking why. Why does she keep stringing me along in this shit, first she isn’t talking to me then she forgives me, i mean its ridiculous for me to be complaining about this because i want to be with her still, i still like her. After all this drama i’m still finding myself thinking of her when i call i client in surprise, just because thats her last name. Everytime i hear a country song, i can only imagine her in some cowboy boots looking ridiculous but somehow it’s cute. I just wish she never lied to me, its so hard to trust her now. FUCK.
i am so dam tired. Good thing i only have two weeks of working at the restaurant left, can’t wait to have my weekends back and to never have to serve another ungrateful piece of shit table. I hate serving and yex the money is good and easy but i cant take the way i get talked to. People make me feel like im a worthless piece of shit when i serve them, fuck them and i hope they stub their toe or something. Fuckers. But today should be fun, today marks my first week doing HR and so far it’s getting easier everyday, love it!
That wasnt that bad. Besides the 3 times we made eye contact everything went smooth. I could tell you were really sick and i felt bad, but i couldnt help but think that it was because you were drinking the night before and got fucked by some dude who is going to brag about it. Seems like such a waste of a perfectly decent girl, but i cant help that you dont repect yourself.
why is it i find myself respecting women more than they respect themselvs….. but she isnt a woman yet, she’s still a girl.
I really dont want to go into work because i know you are working and im really trying to avoid seeing you. It seems every ten minutes there is something that reminds me of you and it doesnt help that a city has your last name and that city pops up a lot where i work. Its stupid though i know. fuck it .